Before marriage

Choosing a spouse in Islam: the two criteria that come before everything else

Religion and character. Why these two come first, and what the hadith warns will follow when they are neglected.

Before marriage2 August 2026By The Nikah team

Choosing a spouse in Islam

Criteria lists keep getting longer. Height, income, degree, origin, city, hijra plans. None of that is forbidden. But the Legislation named two criteria as the foundation, and the order matters.

The reference hadith

Sheikh Sulayman ar-Ruhayli and Sheikh Salih al-Fawzan both rely on the same hadith, reported by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah and graded authentic by al-Albani: when a suitor whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you, marry your daughter to him; if you do not, there will be great turmoil and corruption on earth.

Sheikh ar-Ruhayli draws the rule directly: the foundation in choosing a husband is that he has religion and good character.

Sheikh al-Fawzan draws attention to the order of the words, noting that the hadith begins with religion.

What "religion" means here

Sheikh al-Fawzan spells out the content of the criterion: that he be upright and consistent in his religion, that he perform the obligations and leave the prohibitions.

So it is not a label, nor a way of speaking, nor a vocabulary. It is an observable practice over time: the prayer, what he consumes, what he watches, who he keeps company with, how he treats his parents.

What "character" means here

The second criterion is not decorative. Sheikh al-Fawzan explains why it appears in the hadith: so that he be neither foolish nor of bad character, because that disturbs married life and can lead all the way to separation.

A man can be diligent at the mosque and impossible to live with. The hadith joins the two criteria because daily life turns on both.

The words of al-Hasan ibn Ali

Sheikh ar-Ruhayli relates the scene. A man came to al-Hasan ibn Ali and said: I have a daughter, to whom do you advise me to marry her? He answered: marry her to a man who fears Allah, for if he loves her he will honour her, and if he does not love her he will do her no wrong.

This is the most useful formulation a guardian will ever hear. It describes a floor: the worst case with a man who fears Allah remains liveable. The worst case with a man who does not is not.

A decision that commits more than yourself

Sheikh al-Fawzan closes on a point often lost: marriage is not merely for satisfying desire, it is the foundation of a family. The choice carries consequences for the future, which is why the guardian and the woman herself must choose a husband who is sound in his religion and his character.

How to apply this

Put the two criteria first in your filters, not last. Direct your enquiry at verifiable facts, from people who actually know him, rather than at declarations of intent. And do not trade these two away to compensate for an unusually attractive secondary criterion: that substitution is exactly what the hadith warns against.

On Nikah the profile shows religious practice and criteria, and the exchange is supervised, precisely so the conversation lands on what matters instead of starting with the incidental.

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