Salat al-istikhara before marriage
It is probably the question asked most often at the moment of deciding: "I prayed istikhara and I feel nothing. Is that an answer?"
The short answer is no. Feeling nothing is not a refusal. And waiting for a dream, a sign or a jolt on waking is not part of what the Legislation asks for. This confusion is expensive: it freezes serious processes for months.
What istikhara actually is
Istikhara is a request addressed to Allah. The word itself means asking for the better of two options. It is prayed once you have resolved on a matter whose outcome you do not know.
Sheikh Muhammad al-Uthaymin states the principle in one sentence: istikhara is with Allah, and the person asks his Lord for the better choice.
Two practical consequences follow.
First, istikhara comes after gathering the facts, not instead of them. You look into the suitor's religion and character, you ask those who know him, you look at what may lawfully be looked at, you involve the guardian. Then you ask Allah to facilitate the better of the two options.
Second, it concerns a real decision. "Should I marry one day" is not an istikhara. "Should I take this particular proposal further" is.
And afterwards, how do you know?
The sheikh describes a simple progression, and this is where most people stop too early.
If the heart opens to one of the two options, going ahead or withdrawing, take that one. That is what is being sought.
If nothing emerges, pray istikhara a second time, then a third.
If the heart still leans nowhere, consult. This is the forgotten part. Sheikh al-Uthaymin is explicit: consult people of sound judgement and piety, and what they advise is good, if Allah wills. He adds a valuable observation: Allah sometimes puts no inclination in the heart through istikhara precisely until the person consults, and the heart then leans afterwards.
In other words, the absence of an answer is not a dead end. It is a step that calls for the next one.
The three most common mistakes
Waiting for a dream. Nothing in the hadith of istikhara mentions a dream. A dream may happen, it is not the expected answer, and it is not enough to decide.
Praying istikhara instead of doing the research. Istikhara does not replace finding out about the person's religion, character, situation and circle. It crowns that work.
Repeating istikhara endlessly. Three times, then consultation. Repeating indefinitely is usually a symptom of something else: a fear of commitment, or a hesitation that needs to be named and put to someone trustworthy.
What this changes in practice
On Nikah the process is built in that order. Every profile is read by our team before publication, exchanges are moderated, and a sister's guardian can follow the introduction from the very first message. That framework exists precisely so that you have real material to pray over, and then to consult about.
Istikhara comes at the end of a path, not instead of the path.