The subject is rarely tackled head-on, no doubt because it touches what people show least. Sheikh Muhammad Said Raslan explicitly ranks it among the mistakes of husbands.
The behaviour in view
He first describes the simple case: some husbands cut back on their wife, miserly in spending despite her pressing need, while having ample means.
Then he names the aggravated case, and it is the one that stings. Being miserly with the obligatory maintenance of one's wife while handing money around to friends, in showy banquets and outings. He sums up the scene: squandering on his own pleasures, and turning away when his family asks for a little.
So it is not a question of means. It is a question of priority, and priority is visible in actual spending, not in declared intentions.
The rule
The sheikh states it plainly: spending on one's wife comes before any other spending. And he adds that many people neglect this.
He relies on the hadith reported by Muslim, from Abu Hurayra, which ranks four kinds of spending by reward: in the path of Allah, to free a slave, in charity to a poor person, and on one's family. The greatest in reward is the one spent on the family.
That ranking is counter-intuitive, and it is meant to be. What you give to those in your charge is not less meritorious than what you give outside: it is more.
Why this is a marriage question, not just a budget one
Stinginess toward a wife touches a right, not a comfort. It therefore belongs to the chapter of rights we cover in the rights and duties of spouses: you cannot claim what is owed to you while refusing what you owe.
And it has a counterpart on the wives' side, which Sheikh Raslan treats elsewhere with the same firmness: permanent dissatisfaction and comparison with what others receive. We cover it in the mistakes that wear a couple down.
A practical point before marriage
Many of these situations can be seen coming. The question of financial situation and existing commitments is part of what may legitimately be raised during the mouqabalah, without embarrassment and without detours. We give the list in our article on its framework.