This is the hardest of the fifty-one texts we have worked from, and it is addressed to men.
The reversal Sheikh Raslan describes
Sheikh Muhammad Said Raslan begins with an observation about the moment the mask falls.
He marvels at seeing some men make themselves humble and submissive before the wife's family before the marriage. Then, once he has got what he wanted, the man changes face and turns his coat. His humility turns into tyranny, and his compliance into domination and brutality.
This sequencing matters, because it identifies a blind spot in the pre-marriage enquiry. What the family observes during the khitba is behaviour under scrutiny, in a situation where the man is asking for something. It is not proof of character.
What he describes next
The sheikh names the facts without softening them: raising a hand or a stick at the slightest pretext, and sometimes with no reason at all. Striking the wife, and sometimes the children. Adding to the blows insult, slander and abuse.
The sentence that closes it
It deserves quoting as it stands: a woman is not a thing to be discarded, nor refuse to be despised, nor a beast to be bought and sold, whose owner may do with her whatever he wants.
Three negations, aimed at three distinct justifications: abandonment, contempt, and ownership. The last is the one most often used as an excuse, dressed in religious clothing. The sheikh explicitly rejects it.
What the Legislation says elsewhere
This text does not stand alone. Sheikh Abd ar-Razzaq al-Badr forbids insult and humiliation, open or indirect, and recalls that seeking to straighten a wife by force amounts to breaking her. Sheikh Muhammad ibn Zayd al-Madkhali calls for patience and kindness. Sheikh Salih al-Fawzan recalls that a wife has rights over her husband exactly as he has over her.
We gather these texts in treating your wife well and the rights and duties of spouses.
If this concerns you
This article is not a remedy. A situation of violence belongs to the people of knowledge for what touches the Legislation, and to the protection provided by the law of your country for what touches your safety. The two do not conflict.
In France, 3919 is the national helpline, anonymous and free. 17, and 114 by text message, are the emergency numbers.
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